Saturday, May 23, 2009


*****WARNING: GRUMPINESS AHEAD (and maybe some swearing)******

I am in a funklet. Not a full-blown dreary funk, but about a half-funk, or a funklet. I like the word 'funklet' but it doesn't mean at all what it sounds like. It should be a little fun junket, like a trip to a cupcake store, fabulous junk store or museum, instead of a long crappy mood.

I don't even know why. Well, I sort of know why: part of it is this place. This is a crazy place. At first, it seems very foreign and weird. Some of it just the same as any stateside Air Force base- the sound of freedom blasting in your ears all the time, the brown and tan decorating scheme. Here are some stories from when we first got here about all the strange things I noticed.

But after a while, all the bizarre things both on and off base just seem normal: Fake casualties strewn on the streets, sniper battles in the parking garage, grocery store devoid of molasses and toddler toothpaste for months on end, counterfeit designer purses on every arm and all the latest movies for five bucks a pop. Check, check, check, check, check!

Now, many of my pals are leaving for better different places: Germany, Hawaii, Texas. Yes, even Texas is better different than here. Louisiana, now, that's a different story, and one for another day.

So many people leaving, along with our upcoming trip to Seattle (Target! Goodwill! Cupcakes!) makes me realize how freakishly abnormal this place truly is. Missiles, razor wire and faux bodies on a walk? Not normal.
Crowds in the street pawing at your kids? Not normal. Breathing contaminated dust from China all spring? Not normal. Not knowing where you'll be come New Year's? Not normal. Never mind that one. Being crammed in a sardine can with hundreds of your closest friends all the damn time? NOT NORMAL.

Okay, I'm done now. All of a sudden I have a hankering to go out on the deck and beat some crawfish to a pulp. Please send your best funklet cure to, or share in the comments. I'm pretty sure some of my closest friends could use them too. After all, they have to live in the can with me.


Helen, Robert, Jack, and Emma said...

I'm a little disappointed that you advertised swearing and there was none.

I'm in your Funklet, too. Let me outta here! Stat!

ann daggett said...

yeah i dont know how you have done it over there... but its almost over.. you done good..keep your chin up... not much longer now....there is always light at the end of the tunnel.....oh and i would have painted my whole apartment bright colors because it seems so drab over there..... or is it just my perception?

Jessica said...

Ahahahaha! And to think...they're NORMALIAZING this base! I had to hold myself back a little bit when I went and had lunch with the **** (not a swear word...a title) and he was telling us how this base will be normalized and how those coming over here will not have to sacrifice anything when they come to Korea. Oh the list I could have given him as to why this place will NEVER be normal and that when you ask a spouse to move overseas (especially here - all the things you just said plus more!) they will ALWAYS be giving up something. There is no room on this base or let along this country for anything to ever be truly "normal". "Normal" and "Korea" makes me shake my head ever time. *and step down from my soapbox*