Normal or not? Guest post and poll!

As military spouses, we do all kinds of crazy things for so long that they seem normal. Then, when we re-enter the real world, it's sometimes hard to tell if everyone else is crazy or if we are. So, let's try to help out my anonymous guest poster who is befuddled by a recent situation she faced. Read her account, and then vote in the poll located in the upper right corner.

Anna

A young girl is having her tonsils/adenoids out on a Friday and her grandparents are not only taking off work on Friday but driving to the granddaughter's house to spend the night through Sunday night. (note: granddaughters's house is in a different state. A neighboring one, but a different one.) Also, the said granddaughter's two other siblings are staying at another relative's house through the weekend as well. Then on Monday, the grandparents are taking the two siblings (the ones staying with the relative) back to the state THEY live in so the parents of said granddaughter can tend to her some more.

So there will be 4 adults (two who live out of state) to tend to this one child who is having very minor surgery for 3 days. And then two adults tending to the one child for even a few more days.

So, is this what most families do? Or am I too jaded as a military wife to know how much 'normal' family gather? Or am I jaded as my family is integrated with many healthcare professionals and I realize that a tonsillectomy is very routine?

Realize I got several e-mails leading up to this procedure to remind me and several e-mails on the day of, to let me know how everything progressed. (The procedure is only about 10 minutes long).

And it just drove me crazy! I'm thinking, oh my goodness - she's just having her tonsils out! Is it that big of a deal? Under normal circumstances if I had just been told about the surgery I would have called that day and told her to "get well soon" but this made me not even want to call..which is wrong I know. But I was afraid to feed the mania!

-anonymous-

Guest Post Entry 8

This is the last entry. I'll put up a poll tomorrow, so start thinking about your favorite!



From Tori:

Mind Your Own Beeswax, Please

I have learned in my one and a half years of parenting, that everyone parents differently. Everyone has their own individual values. Some people may have similar parenting techniques, but I've never met two people that have the exact same parenting styles. To me, that is great. Everyone should be able to raise their children how they please (as long as they are being fed, clothed, washed, etc.). For example, some parents choose to keep a family bed until the child decides to go to their own bed. Some parents want the baby in their own crib from day one. Others, choose to have the baby in the parent's bed for a period of time, then transfer them to their crib. These differences can range from what to feed the child, how long (if ever) to use a pacifier, discipline, attention, and the list goes on.

I have discovered in the last two days, that there are some people out there that are extremely pushy about what they think is the "right" way to parent. In the last two days, I have had two discussions where I felt like I was being judged and pressured into taking the pacifier away from my son. Both, mind you, were from other parents of toddlers, not even my parents or in-laws. It isn't like my son is five or something, he is 15-months!

I think I need to branch out and try to find more accepting friends that understand that even though you may have different methods of parenting, you can still be friends, and don't have to agree on everything.

Guest Post Entry 7

From Anonymous:

Irony

My MIL is a very sweet and caring person. She really only means good....I think.

She would do anything for us or the kids, probably including throwing herself in front of a bus. She never misses holidays or birthdays. She loves to come and visit, help me clean and take care of the kids. So, win win right?

Well, almost...

My mil genuinely does not understnad why anyone would do things any differently than she did them 30+ years ago. And I guess she has reason to think that. She has several very well acheived, successful kids. However, once she mentions something or suggests something once, she will continue to mention it, or question you until it's done her way.

Which, doesn't seem so bad, excpet after several days of trying to politely tell her that 'That's a good idea, but what we're doing is working for us'. it turns into ploitely ignoring the suggestion and then sometimes it turns into my brain shriveling up into a wad of wires that probably resembles something close to dental floss. (I'd like to think the mint, waxed kind)

To illustrate, one recent situation come to mind

My fil had helped my children decorate some mugs for the holidays and they were not dishwasher safe. However my ajuma was here the day after the decorating and my mil noticed she was drinking out of one of the mugs. She pulled me to the side and told me that I should probably have hid them so she wouldn't drink out of them. I kind of got defensive (inside, mind you, not outwardly) that she didn't want our ajuma drinking out of the mugs. She's human too, you know? What does it matter if she drinks out of them?

My mil kind of sighed and said, "Well, at least make sure she doesn't put them in the dishwasher."

I told her I would, and obviously, because I'm me, forgot to tell her.

The next morning my mil happened to be standing by the dishwasher while I was unloading it and saw that one of the mugs had been ruined. Needless to say she was pretty upset and I tried to clamly diffuse the situation by saying, "It's okay, it's no big deal"

In the tone you would say to a toddler who spilled their milk, not a mean, or dismissive tone.

She responded with, "(insert name) IT IS A BIG DEAL!"

In which I thought I said, " It's alright, you can always make another one."

But I guess what actually came out of my mouth was, "It's not like you're dying tomorrow!"

Let me add (to my defense I guess) that I've never even said anything remotely even contradictory to her. I've never been anything but totally accomodating. But I guess after a few years, my dental floss brain had had enough of that minty smell.

Also, I felt so horribly guilty for saying it, that I apologized and payed my penance with severe, anxiety induced IBS the rest of the day.

I was relieved of the tension within a day and things were back to normal "please walk all over me and tell me what to do" the next day and the rest of our visit went splendid.

But, wouldn't I be damned to find out only a week later my mil was lying in a hospital bed waiting for emergency surgery....

I was right, she wasn't dying tomorrow...She'd wait a week before she tried to kick the bucket.

* We are so very glad that my mil is just fine and healthy after a very random, weird scare and boy did I feel awful again. Me and the toilet have become best of friends.

**I do feel the need for one more disclamier, my mil is a great lady, and I'm pretty damn lucky to have her.

Guest Post Entry 6

From Jennifer:

The Way of the Woo-Woo

I m coming out.. I want the WOO WOO-RLD to know...

I am someone who sometimes, SEES things. As in, sees things that most other people don't. Sometimes I KNOW things too.

It comes in very clear black and white images in front of my eyes. Its very different than imagining, its more like seeing a photograph. As if that's not enough, sometimes i "hear" a voice as well-

This has happened most of my life, but it's been more prevalent lately.

Recently, I went to hear Dr Judith Orloff, a intuitive doctor, speak. She was amazing, and she called out the audience and said,

"YOU! There! Yes you! (me) you need to be telling people what you know. You aren't, are you!"

Ever since then, I have been trying to be better about revealing my secret woo woo side.

Around this time, I reconnected with an old HS friend off Facebook. I was glad to see him again, as I was thinking how much fun we used to have, and that I could use some just plain FUN times. We met to walk at greenlake.

Right away, I noticed a teapot over his head.

Yes, a teapot. In clairvoyance, it commonly comes in symbols. A lot of times (most the time, in fact) I don't even know what it means- just that it is there. Sometimes its an obvious reference, (Once I saw a dog kennel door w/ bars over a woman- turns out that she was feeling "trapped") more often times there is not, and i have no idea what it means, which is usually why I don't say anything. Oh yeah, and that people think you are a freak. There is that. Oh, and... its not my business.

Anyways
We go the whole way around the lake, chatting. NO teapot mention. I decided later to email him and ask him about the teapot. Silence. and weeks later....Still silence.

I guess the world is not ready for my message, or maybe I ll hear from him when he lands a contract with a tea company or meets his dream guy at a tea house. Or... whatever.

I guess that this has taught me that, while there are those who are not ready to hear about a teapot above their head, there is no harm in letting them know. So i guess I will try and be more forthcoming, and I ll let YOU know if I see a bunch of grapes, a spider web, or a shoe hanging from your butt. After all, what are friends for?

Guest Post Entry 5

From Lisajoy:

The Pancake Story

Ok…ok…I'll tell you about the pancakes. The other morning as we are getting ready for school I'm trying to get the girls breakfast. Quincy is in hysterics: YOU NEVER FEED ME!! I'M HUNGRY!! THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING TO EAT!!!! I WANT FOOD!!! The one repeated most often - you never feed me. She is really beyond any reason. This went on for 20 mins. And I'm not exaggerating the time or her actions.

It had been sort of warm out the day before (and you know how our house is really a brick pizza oven) so the dining room window had been left cracked open over night. The elementary school bus stop is right outside our dining room. There are kids and parents milling around. I keep noticing how they are trying to look in our window without being obvious. Can't wait to get the call from Child Protective Services!

It was all because I didn't have pancakes for breakfast. Thing is - we NEVER have pancakes for breakfast!! I've made them maybe twice since Quincy's been old enough to remember what she's had for breakfast. I finally convinced her that she should just have the frozen waffles (that we always have in the freezer). She had one bite. One. Not one waffle. One bite. She was back to the normal happy kid she usually is.

Guest Post Entry 4

From Lisajoy:

Conversations with Quincy

This morning at breakfast (at McDonalds because Quincy had to have pancakes. Another story that I still don't find very funny) I'm telling the girls that they get to go to Jeanette's house in the morning to play (with Alex (8), Nia (6), and Jasmine (4)) while Jeanette and I go get our hair cut.

Quincy Question: Well, whose going to watch us then?
My Answer: Kevin (Jeanette's husband)
Quincy Response w/cocked head and the serious tone of a therapist: Is Kevin OK with that?

Guest Post Entry 3

From Anonymous:

I am a raging liberal, a pacifist, AND a Spiritual Agnostic living on a military base in Korea. Yet, I'm pretty sure know one knows.

Guest Post Entry 2

From Anonymous:

Bummer Stickers

I'm usually a pretty easygoing person behind the wheel. Cut me off? Ok, you go first. Tailgating? Fine, I'll pull over and wish you on your way. I try to not get too excited and am usually successful. Baby on board? Congratulations!; I'll be careful. There is , HOWEVER, one notable exception. When I see certain bumper stickers I also see red. You've seen them too; they're all over the road! Of course I'm speaking of the bragging ones that go something like this: "My son is a genius on the Honor Roll at South Podunk Jr. Hi" or "I'm the proud parent of a Dismal Seepage Boy Scout". I wonder if these clueless folks get it that they're perceived by many/most other drivers as real jerks? I'm just saying people should tone it down; these brats are probably gonna make liars out of you before your dotage, anyway. It's not sour grapes on my part, either. I've got pride in my family, too. In fact on one of my cars there's a bummer stinker happily declaring "My brother got two years off his sentence for 'pretty good' behavior at San Quentin". The trailing edge of our truck enthuses "Our son's FIRST mug shot became one of America's Most Wanted".

Guest Post Entry 1

I have the first submissions to the guest post contest! There's still plenty of time to enter- send your entries to storiesfromkorea@gmail.com

From Anonymous:

My toddler had butter and coffee for breakfast. Am I a bad mom?

Okay, okay, that one was totally me. But here's a REAL one:

A Confession: Milk Bones

I sometimes buy milk bones and eat them. I don't even have a dog. They're not bad, either. They taste like crunchy pizza crust.