Thursday, April 30, 2009

Guest Post Entry 7

From Anonymous:


My MIL is a very sweet and caring person. She really only means good....I think.
She would do anything for us or the kids, probably including throwing herself in front of a bus. She never misses holidays or birthdays. She loves to come and visit, help me clean and take care of the kids. So, win win right?
Well, almost...
My mil genuinely does not understnad why anyone would do things any differently than she did them 30+ years ago. And I guess she has reason to think that. She has several very well acheived, successful kids. However, once she mentions something or suggests something once, she will continue to mention it, or question you until it's done her way.
Which, doesn't seem so bad, excpet after several days of trying to politely tell her that 'That's a good idea, but what we're doing is working for us'. it turns into ploitely ignoring the suggestion and then sometimes it turns into my brain shriveling up into a wad of wires that probably resembles something close to dental floss. (I'd like to think the mint, waxed kind)
To illustrate, one recent situation come to mind
My fil had helped my children decorate some mugs for the holidays and they were not dishwasher safe. However my ajuma was here the day after the decorating and my mil noticed she was drinking out of one of the mugs. She pulled me to the side and told me that I should probably have hid them so she wouldn't drink out of them. I kind of got defensive (inside, mind you, not outwardly) that she didn't want our ajuma drinking out of the mugs. She's human too, you know? What does it matter if she drinks out of them?
My mil kind of sighed and said, "Well, at least make sure she doesn't put them in the dishwasher."
I told her I would, and obviously, because I'm me, forgot to tell her.
The next morning my mil happened to be standing by the dishwasher while I was unloading it and saw that one of the mugs had been ruined. Needless to say she was pretty upset and I tried to clamly diffuse the situation by saying, "It's okay, it's no big deal"
In the tone you would say to a toddler who spilled their milk, not a mean, or dismissive tone.
She responded with, "(insert name) IT IS A BIG DEAL!"
In which I thought I said, " It's alright, you can always make another one."
But I guess what actually came out of my mouth was, "It's not like you're dying tomorrow!"
Let me add (to my defense I guess) that I've never even said anything remotely even contradictory to her. I've never been anything but totally accomodating. But I guess after a few years, my dental floss brain had had enough of that minty smell.
Also, I felt so horribly guilty for saying it, that I apologized and payed my penance with severe, anxiety induced IBS the rest of the day.
I was relieved of the tension within a day and things were back to normal "please walk all over me and tell me what to do" the next day and the rest of our visit went splendid.
But, wouldn't I be damned to find out only a week later my mil was lying in a hospital bed waiting for emergency surgery....
I was right, she wasn't dying tomorrow...She'd wait a week before she tried to kick the bucket.
* We are so very glad that my mil is just fine and healthy after a very random, weird scare and boy did I feel awful again. Me and the toilet have become best of friends.
**I do feel the need for one more disclamier, my mil is a great lady, and I'm pretty damn lucky to have her.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I think I know that lady. She once informed me that I that didn't even know how to appropriately use a clothes dryer or how to make a bed! I quess I had been doing it all wrong for 40 plus years. :)