Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Yeah, yeah, I know. I said I didn't have anything I wanted to write about. But just when you think you've seen it all in this crazy place, you see something even more bizarre and blog-worthy than ever before. To tell you about it, I will have to be very, very clever so that the hordes of North Korean spies who hungrily devour my every oh-so-carefully chosen word will not figure out any of the secrets of Osan.

So. The PEOPLE here sometimes do THINGS that they take very seriously indeed. They use some real accessories, like trucks, green clothes and very loud and annoying loudspeakers, and also some pretend things. If you can picture hugely overgrown four year old children wearing matching clothes and playing with sticks and rocks you will get the idea.

This THING causes disruptions to my daily life, and of course we all know that maintenance of my routine is the sole reason for military presence here. Stores and offices are open at different times, or not at all. Lloyd's work schedule is outrageously altered, forcing me to contend with bedtime alone. As you can imagine, this does not endear the enormous green-clad gamers to me, but endure I must.

As I set out about my errands, at an unspecified time and/or date, I encountered some or all of the following:

Very, very small car entirely entombed in plastic wrap and duct tape;

Large green vehicles parked across the sidewalks; and

Costumed participants sprawled in uncomfortable and unnatural positions littering the roads and parking lots.

At the same time, all sorts of normal things were going on. A construction crew working, moms with strollers stepping over the bodies, taxis rolling down the main drag. Crazy, I tell you.

There, I'm done. NOW I need the guest posts. And the chocolates. Especially the chocolates.


Helen, Robert, Jack, and Emma said...

I think I need to report you to OSI.

Anna Jane said...

I think I still have some fake blood on one of my stroller wheels...explain that to the kiddos

The Martin Family said...

Wow, I wish I could have seen that.