Monday, March 2, 2009

Wax on, wax off

Perhaps you remember the story about how we got our turtle. I am not a huge fan of the turtle, but Lloyd really likes it and is already working up an adoption plan for when we're forced to leave the turtle here in Korea (turtle + long international flight=contraband). Now, don't get me wrong; I like turtles fine. I just don't think they belong on my kitchen counter in a filthy tank, eating dried bugs and staring at me every time I go by with those big 'help-me' eyes. You wouldn't think a turtle would be able to communicate, but I swear this one knows what's going on. The thing throws itself against the tank and bangs the rocks in the tank around to get attention, and then waits for you to get it bugs. It's pretty smart; at least smart enough to get elected to the Governor's office in the great state of Alaska, and I hear they're letting reptiles run now. That would be so awesome if it could support itself; dried bugs don't grow on trees, you know. Plus, I understand there is a very generous per diem arrangement.

The turtle tank gets so disgusting from the bugs and the generous supply of turtle poop that it is appalling even to me, and my standards are LOW. This morning I set out a bowl of water to dechlorinate so we could clean the tank and supply the turtle with fresh water. This is a quick job, and it's a good thing, because the turtle is at the very bottom of my priority list until it actually is elected to office. I walked into the kitchen to see Lloyd painstakingly cleaning and polishing the turtle's shell. With a dishcloth. He then asked me if we had any turtle wax. I would like to think he was totally kidding but the truth is I'm not quite sure.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, there was laundry piled in the hallway, goldfish crackers crushed into the carpet, and pencil marks all over the bathtub. But at least the turtle will be presentable for the inauguration, right? Hey, after that maybe I can afford that English-speaking ajima I've been wanting!

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