Friday, January 23, 2009

Epidemic


Holy cow, I got ANOTHER email from a disenfranchised Sudanese girl. Her name is Fanny Deng, isn't that cute? And I love how she calls me dearest. Check it out below. Can you believe it?! It's an epidemic of plane crashes, conspiracies and evil uncles! The next thing you know someone's going to come up with some hare-brained scheme about the Kennedy assassination. What is this world coming to?!?!?!? Well, no matter.

What's important here, obviously, is helping this poor girl. And collecting my portion of that $10.4 million. I still haven't gotten all that money you wired me for Jena Justin Yac, so get cracking, people!

Hey, I just had a brilliant idea! Shocking, I know. Maybe these two gals could form a union, and/or start a class action suit against the evil uncles. If I was still on my first glass of wine, maybe I could even think up a good name and acronym for the union.





- Dearest,I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart.My name is Fanny Dominic Dim Deng, 22yrs old, female and I held from Sudan. My father Lt. Gen Dominic Dim Deng and my mother including other top Military officers and top government officials had been on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008. You can read more about the crash through http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7380412.stm After the burial of my father, my uncle conspired and sold my father's properties to one Chin ease Expatriate and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I traveled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. On my arrival, the Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my father's instruction to the bank was the money be release to me only when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas. I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle have threaten to assassinate me. The amount is $10.4 Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso. You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country. However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 10% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am affraid of my weaked uncle who has threatened to kill me. Sincerely yours,Fanny Dominic Dim Deng

2 comments:

Helen, Robert, Jack, and Emma said...

Poor woman. Do you have her address?

Anna said...

Send any monetary donations directly to Stories from Korea. This is strictly on the up and up, to thwart the larcenous uncle.