Well, my friends, the day has come. The paintings are back from the shop, propped up in the bedroom, awaiting the unwrapping. They don't look so bad with that pretty paper covering them up, do they? If only the paper could remain... But no, I mustn't give myself false hope. Fear not, I do have options: I can always throw myself to the badgers.
If you are not familiar with the sad saga of the paintings, you can read about it here, here, here and here. Then you can send your condolences to firstname.lastname@example.org.