In defense of television

So! Hey, how have you been? Yeah, it's been a while. Me? I've been very busy. Yeah, construction and maintenance of the breastmilk fountain, getting the gifts ready for the winners of the big thrift store giveaway, trying to convince Weston that it's a great idea to give up some Christmas presents to donate to less fortunate kids, you know, all the usual holiday chores. And, my friend Helen has me working on some other hare-brained schemes, too. Helen is brilliant, and she has fabulous ideas. Somehow, though, her great ideas always translate into a LOT of work.

Say, have you met my new best friend, Television? TV, for short. Yeah, we've been acquainted for a while now, but we've just gotten a lot closer. We have had mutual friends for ages, but we first met when I was pregnant with Shane.

Before that, I thought TV would be a bad influence on Weston. You see, there are some things I don't like about my friend TV. Materialism, consumerism, violence, the studies that show that kids who see TV a lot have short attention spans and glassy, dull-eyed stares.

While I was pregnant, I was completely exhausted and Lloyd was in the desert. I decided TV wasn't so bad, after all. A little Blue's Clues, a little Elmo, and my day was a whole lot easier.

TV and I were casual friends for a while, you know how it is. An hour or so here, a half hour there. But, now, TV's charms have become irresistible to me: some Little Einsteins, some Planet Heroes, maybe a little Dragon Tales and Sesame Street, and the earth-shattering din magically ceases. I can sit and think and type, all at the same time; maybe even have a cup of coffee. So I owe TV a lot, and I'm very grateful to my new friend. But Christmas is coming up, and what exactly do you get for a pile of plastic and a bunch of electrons?