Disconnected

I have been to hell and back, my friends, and I have lived to tell the tale. Yesterday morning started just like any other morning: I awoke to the sound of a slamming door as Shane ran into the bedroom, vigorously shut the door behind him, and pig-piled me for his morning nursies. I stumbled into the kitchen and made some coffee, went into the computer room to check my email, Facebook and SFK for blog updates.

The computer was frozen, a not uncommon occurrence, and we decided it was time to part with the hard-earned fifty bucks and have the thing cleaned up at the BX. So, we reluctantly disconnected it and Lloyd took it down there. He had called ahead to see how long it would take and was told we would have to suffer approximately 24 hours with no computer. Lloyd's plan was to drop it off, then cajole, threaten or bribe the computer guy into fixing it immediately because we would SHRIVEL UP AND DIE with no computer for an entire day. All was going well with the plan, until Lloyd called after we couldn't stand it anymore (approximately 20 minutes) and was told that the computer was not fixable; something something, BIOS motherboard, blah blah blah, no fixee, no fixee.

Facing the prospect of the whole, boring-ass Korean day in front of me, I tried to make the best of it. It will be good for me, I thought. I spend too much time on the computer anyway, I told myself. But deep inside, a glimmer of hope was growing. I have been wanting a new Mac for quite a while; maybe now was the time! Lloyd tried to convince me to hook the 10 year old Compaq that's gathering dust in the laundry room back up, but I wasn't going for it. He finally caved in and came home from work early so I could go down to the BX and see what they had. I walked, because there are never parking spots at the BX, and planned to take a cab home if I needed to. Lloyd, as desperate as me but perhaps hiding it a little better, feverishly instructed me not to come home without a computer.

I hiked down to the Mustang Mall (oh, yes, that's really what it's called) in the broiling late afternoon heat and inspected the meager computer selection: four desktops (two Macs and two PC's) and approximately 27 laptops that all looked the same. I snapped up the Mac I wanted and the Office for Mac suite and handed over my credit card. Which was declined. Twice. Now, having your credit card declined ALWAYS sucks, but at the BX, it is ultra-embarrassing, because the person in line behind you is probably either your husband's boss or that snooty mom who always sneers at you when your kids run by her apartment naked. Not that I would know.

Furious at the stupid bank who issued the card, I stalked home to get another card and call up USAA to yell at them. To save time, I threw the card at Lloyd and told him to call and yell at them while I took the other card to get the computer. This time, I managed to get all the way home and get the computer up on the desk, at which time I noticed a crack across the corner of the screen. Because it was a Mac and not a Windows-running machine, we were pretty sure that the crack was not, in fact, a standard feature, and we took it back and exchanged it. Then I discovered that the credit card was an old one that had been replaced and not shredded- oops! Sorry, USAA, my bad. I take back all the nasty thoughts I had about you. Well, not ALL. You still suck, but thanks for replacing a perfectly good credit card with a new one with a different account number because you misplaced our personal information.

Now it's hooked up and working fine, if a little slow, and I have learned two things:

1. I spend WAY too much time on the computer. Seriously, I was totally jonesing for email ALL DAY, like every five minutes. Someday, I might actually try to do something about it, but probably not today.

2. My messy house and unkempt children cannot be blamed on my computer addiction; after an entire day offline, conditions are not improved. I am not sure what this says about me, but I think I like it!