Friday, November 27, 2009


Well. Last night was a real winner, people. About twenty minutes after the boys went to bed, Shane came out saying, 'I hungwy'. So I gave him a piece of bread and sent him back to bed. Everything would have been fine, except:

Lloyd: Did you let him take that bread in there?
Me: Yeah, why?
Lloyd: What if he falls asleep with bread in his mouth?
Me: That's crazy! He's not going to fall asleep with bread in his mouth!
Lloyd: I've fallen asleep with food in my mouth lots of times.
Me: And you're not dead, right?

But, of course, because we are paranoid idiots, I had to go in and retrieve the bread. I had hoped he was asleep, but no such luck. He hadn't taken bite one of the bread, and was happily playing with it. I left, quiet reigned, and we waited a few minutes. Lloyd went in a little later and came out with the bread, now broken into pieces, and tossed it in the trash. The wailing started, and Shane came back out wanting his bread back. I gave him a new piece but that just made it worse, because the new piece was not properly broken. Right about now you might be wondering why we did not just make him go back to bed and go to sleep. This just proves you know nothing about small children. But we also live in fear that his high-pitched shrieks might wake Weston up, since they share a room. So it's 'Yessir, yessir, three bags full' and it's a small price to pay. Thank you for keeping your opinions to yourself.

You know what comes next, right? Yep, I fished the precious broken bread out of the garbage. Just then one of our more well-groomed neighbors knocked on the door, wishing to borrow an iron and ironing board. Standing there with bread crumbs and coffee grounds dripping from my hands, I had to confess the truth: We do not own an iron. There, I said it. And I'm not ashamed. Just don't tell anyone, okay? I'm not sure he believed me, but it's totally true. I can't even remember the last time we had one. And I have to say, I haven't missed it, not once. In fact, I'm thinking of getting rid of the vacuum cleaner, too.

As it turns out, Shane was unable to sleep because he was having bad dreams about the 'ghost train'. I believe this is his catchall phrase for anything scary, but I'm not entirely certain. The whole night was pretty bad. Luckily Weston was hopped up on Benadryl and didn't wake up at all. He had a huge ugly swollen upper arm from his shots a few days ago, but it seems to be improving now after a trip to the ER. Today we will be making dreamcatchers and 'No Bad Dreams Allowed' signs. Wish us luck!


Amanda said...

Good Luck! I know all about the placating the small child to keep the peace and preserve your own sanity at times. Our 3yo is LOUD when he wakes up in the morning, and unlike his brother who was ok with being told "It's too early, get me when the sun comes up," We've been up at 5:30am. Downstairs, cartoons on, eating breakfast, the whole 9 yards.

And owning an iron is overrated. Isn't that why there are dry cleaners? I have an iron and ironing board, but I know I haven't used them since we moved here, so it's been over a year since I've ironed anything.

Anonymous said...

And I thought the people talking loudly in the hall at midnight was disturbing? I think you win this hand.

We have an iron, as well as assorted baking dishes; I rarely use the iron (only if the hubby has been TDY and his BDUs are a mess from being smushed in a suitcase) and bake once a year (for the son's birthday) - it all seems rather superfluous, now that I think about it...


C Mike said...

So you girls don't routinely iron underwear anymore?

Helen said...

You live such a hard life. I don't know how you do it.

Helen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda Evans said...

What, no iron? If you get rid of the vacuum, I totally understand. I know i've told oyu before, but remember that wonder-mop (steam thing) you let me use last year? I had Brian run right out an drop the $80 to get me one. Have I ever used it? Once. Once in a year. HAHAHAHAH!